The Heroic Criminal
by Ud the Imp
Summary: Tommy Vercetti, the Harwood Butcher and Crime Lord of Vice City, is about to embark on one Hell of a ride on what was supposed to be a simple vacation to Japan...
1. It starts humbly enough

_Disclaimer: All characters, names, locations, and events are owned by their respective companies. This story is property of the author._

**The Heroic Criminal**

_A Fanfiction by Ud the Imp_

1990 AD, Pacific Ocean, Aboard the Spencer Lane

-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-

His arms rested upon the railing as he looked over on to the seemingly endless expanse of sparkling blue ocean. The sky was equally blue, with barely a cloud and the yellow sun shining brightly and every breath taking in the crisp fragrance of the sea water. The weather reminded him a lot about back home. His second home to be exact. Except that the constant cool breeze got rid of that annoying humidity.

After four years of living in Florida he STILL wasn't used to the freaking humidity. In fact it was one of the primary reasons why he decided to take this vacation in the first place. He needed one badly. Especially after his first and best friend since going down South suddenly became so bad of a liability he had to send him to rehab kicking and screaming.

_ Thank God it wasn't literal,_ he thought gravely.

That was the first reason he decided to leave for Japan.

Four years……..four God damn years that bent lawyer stuck by him……and just one mistake –

"Excuse me, Mr. Vercetti?" Thankfully a security guard momentarily snapped him out of his thoughts. "May I kindly ask you to – "

"It's a toy," Tommy answered, automatically knowing the guy was about to ask about his trusty M4 assault rifle strapped to his back.

"Oh, sorry. My apologies." The security guard walked away.

_ Stupid prick,_ Tommy thought, trying very hard to stifle a laugh.

One of the reasons he decided to go to the land of the rising sun by boat instead of plane. The Spencer Lane was on the grandest luxury cruise liners on the planet. It had fine dining, great dancing, one of the first to have a working gymnasium, and, crucial for any drug lord on the open seas, some of the WORST security personal in the industry, if not the planet. However, it was his potential client in Japan set him up as a passenger on this ship in the first place.

Another reason Vercetti was vacationing to Japan. Tommy was not planning on crossing the Pacific in the first place, but a WHALE of a client came into his office and they both set up a deal that was to take place in the client's corporate headquarters in Tokyo. Normally, when dealing with CEOs of major international companies Tommy tended to avoid doing any sort of illegal business. He made the exception when THIS guy, some fifty something old fart with a hairstyle right out of a comic book, comes waltzing into his mansion and begins to disarm and break at the _very least_ ten bones in of every single one of his guards, all armed with the best illegal weaponry money can buy……….with only his bare fists…….

Even Tommy, the legendary Harwood Butcher, had to admit it was one of those rare times that he was actually nervous about somebody. The drug lord can easily take on several armed men at a time shooting at him and be as cool as a cucumber throughout, but this old guy……

The deal was made almost instantly. His client asked for about one hundred kilos of the best Grade A coke (origin irrelevant), and Tommy himself will himself deliver it straight to the old guy's office once he reached Tokyo. Tommy attempted to start up some small talk about why and how the old guy was going to use it, and all he said was:

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"_Research."_

"_Research?" Tommy asked, obviously skeptical. "Why the Hell would you want to research coke for? Planning to do some market testing – "_

_-_WHAM_-_

_ -_CRACK_-_

_ The old guy punched a solid indentation right into Vercetti's desk._

"_Just. RESEARCH."_

-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-

Tommy was very much used to people either pointing weapons at his face and/or punching his lights whenever they even remotely threatened him. But punching a two inch hole into solid black marble was totally to new to him. Conversation was predictably stale and swift after that moment…….

The kicker came when Tommy asked the old guy who he was. The old man merely answered with the name "Mishima." He was slightly insulted that Vercetti had no idea about the guy.

Tommy never really bothered to ever do any type of research on any of the clients he dealt with, preferring to instead to winging it and hope it does not dissolve into gun fight. That's how most of his personal deals went in the past. Even surprisingly to himself, Tommy was a natural people person and got along well with anybody he met as long as either he or they are on good terms with each other. That's probably how he lasted so long during his jail time.

However, Mr. Mishima seemed to be the type that was perpetually pissed off about something. Or someone. Tommy was always wary about those types of people. And the fact that Mishima personally paid for his boat trip and outfitted a special room for him with fairly large compartments to hold all of his weapons and drugs in made him even MORE wary, since generosity was NEVER mixed with that kind of personality…..unless it was a setup.

Because of this, Tommy had hired some henchmen to hop on plane and from there rendezvous with him with the drugs in tow while he himself instead brought with him all the hardware he believed he needed. Loyalty among his henchmen was ALWAYS guaranteed. To the contrary to the previous top Vice City drug lord, Vercetti was the type of guy who was a really great guy to get along with and would give as many cookies as you wanted from the cookie jar, but would slice off your hand, head, and gonads, in that order, and stick them up on pikes as a warning to others if he found out you were stealing from the jar.

Tommy also intended to have one of his close friends' join him on the trip, at least to help seal the deal, but found none of them could join for one reason or another. Rosenburg, the guy who was usual by his side, was out because Tommy had sent him to rehab (_I really gotta remove him from my mental checklist, _he solemnly thought). Avery Carrington would have been the perfect substitute. He was a pleasant cow poke, although a bit grandiose, and was probably more of a people person than Tommy and the most likely choice to prevent any form of violence breaking out. Unfortunately, Avery was already doing important business at the time selling prime real estate and land in the process of being developed around some no where town named Raccoon or something to some pharmaceutical company called "Umbrella" (_What kind of a moron names their company "umbrella?!")_. Tommy wisely thought it would be bad for business if he was with a guy that was doing business with a corporation that's in competition with his client.

Umberto would have also been a great choice, but his really close bond with his father and his fellow Cubans makes him think that anywhere outside of FLORIDA was a like a trip to another planet. No mention the gallons of sweat he seemed to gush out as Vercetti was telling him about Mishima. Lance Vance was out of the question for two major reasons. The first was he sold Tommy out to Sonny Forelli at the last minute, causing that fateful shootout he would never forget; and the second was that he was dead (_I REALLY gotta remove him from my mental checklist)_. Mitch Baker, the head honcho of all the biker gangs in Vice City, has the same loyalty issues as Umberto, but not as extreme. The only thing that prevented him from coming along was the surprisingly severe sea sickness that hit the poor biker that one time Tommy decided to broaden the guy's horizons by taking him out on a spin on his speedboat (_STILL trying to get those stains outta the control panel….)_

Tommy would have roughed up Kent Paul a bit to join him, but the prick headed back to England, saying something about trying to make a name for himself back in his own country or some crap. He also would have asked the Colonel to send him someone, but his calls have been increasingly sparse over the years _(I just hope he's busy and not sick). _Tommy has not spoken with that klepto Cam Clarke since that bank heist he personally led for good reason; Earnest, though still a tough old guy _(Kinda like my dad)_, is definitely too old to be involved in stuff other than the printing presses, and Mercedes…….Tommy knew he was just trying to find an excuse to spend time with her. The crime lord probably had a chance with her as far back as when he first came to Vice City, but for some reason………nowadays even getting the chance to talk to her has become rare as she is now way too busy filming porn movies with Candy Suxxx to return any of his calls.

And finally, last but not least, there was Phil Cassidy………….

Yeah………..

If Tommy had the intention of nuking the entire country into a giant crater, it would be MUCH safer to just smuggle in a few nuclear warheads and blow them up in every major city each. Even reduced to one arm, Phil was still as much of a one-man army when he had two of them. Hell, with one arm he was probably as dangerous as Vercetti himself. Though Tommy knew all too well Phil's beef was with the Vietnamese, it was better to take any and all precautions necessary. Cassidy is a very good friend, but NOT the kind of person one would bring to anything peaceful.

Vercetti found himself thinking nowadays. A lot of thinking. This was just an example. He found out lately he tends to zone out at times when he's not doing anything important, like managing his criminal empire, collecting money from the various businesses he bought out, getting rid of the competition, making alliances, and providing funding to the city's educational and medical establishments. Or playing video games, watching cartoons, reading comic books, or going out on random joyrides in his helicopter, his speedboat, or one of his many, MANY automobiles. Never had an interest in playing golf despite owning golf clubs, and the only thing he really liked shooting at were other people.

A beat.

_ That did not sound right……_ he thought.

Anyway, having enough weapons stashed away in his room to rival a small army, Tommy was planning to enjoy this trip as much as possible. Quite honestly he had never been to another country before. He knew this was gonna be a trip to remember. Nothing short of the end of the freakin' WORLD would ruin it…………..

A beat.

He casually looked to his right and looked at a glass of water some distance away. He examined it closely. He saw the contents vibrating…….

_ That's weird……..the water's perfectly calm….._

Soon, the ship started to shake……..

The shaking became more violent………

People started screaming holding on to anything nailed to the ground………..

The very ocean seemed to shake tremendously…….but the weather was still clear……

Tommy came to one conclusion: "An earthquake?! In the middle of the ocean?!? WHAT THE CRAP?!!"

As Vercetti lost balance, ring of light encase him.

"HOLY FREAKIN' SH - !!!"

A sudden flash of light……….

He was gone……..


	2. Prologue 5:  GUNSHOT!  Part 1

**Prologue 5:  
GUNSHOT!!**

The Spencer Lane, 20XX AD

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Tommy suddenly felt himself landing on top of deck of the ship in the same spot he was standing, only dropped from several feet. He rubbed his aching backside as he cursed and stood, using the hand rail as support.

_Wyrdest freakin' thing of my life……._ Tommy angrily thought as he regained balance. _Probably shouldn't have drank all that steak sauce……_

Tommy continued to look out in to the ocean –

"_Hrrmm……._" A low groaning emanated near him.

"It's a toy," Tommy said, not looking over at the source of the groan.

"_Hrrrrrrrrrrmmmm………"_

"I already told you, it's a toy."

"_HHHHRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMM………………"_

"What are ya, freakin' DEAF?! It's a TOY dumbass!!" Tommy only looked sideways for the briefest of moments.

"_**HRRMMPH!!!**_"

"Oh, that is IT, you've officially PISSED me off you mother fu –!!"

Tommy found himself staring straight into a pair of half circle glowing red lights in the vague visage of a pair of eyes that looked perpetually annoyed at almost everything around it. The "eyes" were the only light source in an abyss of black, seemingly empty space within a metallic blue helmet with a strange, flat, three-pronged design at the top. The "eyes" were pulsating……

The drug lord had an understandably bewildered look on his face. His response:

"When the Hell did this suddenly become a theme cruise?"

The strange being approached Tommy and punched him right in the abdomen.

Vercetti gagged at the suddenly pain and reeled in a fetal position, hacking up blood and salvia. His vision became blurred with red. He saw a pair of skeletal feet. He instinctively rolled over –

-_SCHING_-

-_CRACK_-

- barely avoiding a long, curved blade that pierced into the hardwood deck. A split second later he leapt out of the way of what looked like a baseball size ball of yellow flame. He rolled across the polish wood surface and crouched right-side up, his left hand steadying him and wielding his M4 in the other.

Vercetti himself surrounded by the wyrdest set of enemies he had EVER seen. The one that punched turned out to be some sort of blue armored knight, the armor being vaguely Medieval European in design, with a helmet having a strange, square shaped, three-pronged design on top, and arm with a small triangular shield in one hand and just pulling out a short sword with a golden hilt in the other. The second adversary was merely a skeleton of medium height armed with a scythe that curved so much it was almost hook-like and wore faded blue colored robes.

The last was a floating spirit of some kind, wearing fecal brown colored robes, a pair of glowing, eyes the slight color of urine within a sea of total black, and hands the same color of the brown in the beginning stages of decay. One hand held what looked like a kerosene lamp. The other was reaching inside the lamp. One did not need a degree in rocket science to know the implications…..

Vercetti did the best thing he did in situations like this……wing the crap out of it.

He ran at the skeleton as the spirit tossed another fireball it pulled out of its lamp, a blackend scorch mark where he stood a moment ago. Vercetti slammed the butt of his M4 across the skeletons "face" –

-_CRACK-_

- separating the monster's jaw bone from its skull, causing the skull to literally spin around like top. He pulled out a concealed combat knife; he simultaneously aimed at the spirit; he ducked under the knight's sword swing; he stabbed underhanded and upward in between the knight's "eyes" and simultaneously pulled the trigger; he steadied the rifle as he riddled the spirit in bullets, making it was permanently dead.

The skeleton stopped its skull from spinning and renewed its attacked.

-_CLANG-_

Vercetti managed to block the bonehead's downward swing with his rifle. To his surprised he was using all of his strength to merely prevent to monster from pushing him down. _This guy must've been hoppin' up on calcium supplements before he bought it,_ Vercetti thought trying the mentally put light into the situation. With great difficulty, he managed to reach inside his shirt and pull out a 9mm magnum and fired into the monster's skull. Each shot visibly left a hole into the forehead, each hole spreading spider web cracks throughout until the fourth and final shot finally shattered open the skull, leaving only the top jaw and base of the skull.

Tommy felt the load on him lighten as the skeleton "died" and shoved away the now limp scythe. He heaved, regaining his breath as he looked around at the "corpses" of the monsters he felled. All three then disappeared in puffs of black smoke.

He gulped down the rising bile in his throat and the fear that came with it as the full gravity of the situation was starting to sink in……

"What….the Hell……is GOING ON – **JESUS!!!"**

Tommy lunged out of the way of several more fireballs was thrown at him….

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_Author's Note: Confused by the title? The story will predominately follow Tommy Vercetti, and thus this story will only have chapters where he will be in most logically, NOT THE ENTIRE GAME. Sorry for the shortness, but I didn't want to have any heavy dialogue right after an action sequence. The next chapter will introduce some more characters and with the beginning more dialogue heavy._


End file.
